If you eat me out in the shower, I’ll shampoo your hair for you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’d like to make out and smash the patriarchy with you.
"a female protagonist in assassin’s creed is historically inaccurate!"
haha yeah because ancient aliens, conspiracies, and a war that has been going on for thousands of years yet still somehow remains secret to the outside world is totally accurate i mean we can have glowing magical objects which kill people and all kinds of stuff but a female with a knife is TOO far buddy TOO INACCURATE and TOOO UNSCIENTIFIC!!!!!!
*spends hours writing formulae and shit on a blackboard to come up with the perfect post* i have it… hey… hey everyone, whats up, ever notice how leonardo dicaprio has… no oscars?? anyone else notice that??
i wonder how i’m gonna die. will i be shot because they’re jealous of my massive penis? car crash because i’m distracted by my massive penis? die of old age, i have a massive penis
im about to get FUCKED UP off this glass of water. my pee will be so clear turn up turn up